My MLM rant

You guys. I just can’t anymore with the sugary-sweet direct messages on my Instagram that start off with “Hey girl! I love your vibe!” and then ask me some mundane question like "how is your day going?” or my personal favorite - “Are you on a fitness journey too?” 

I've been stopping them right there and saying a polite "no thank you" to their offer to bring me on to their team.

But what I really want to say is THIS:

I 100% certainly, definitely, DO NOT WANT to be a part of an MLM scheme. Or any other thing that may or may not be in the shape of a pyramid. 

even if it's pretty.  ( image via )

even if it's pretty.  (image via)

I’m annoyed.

Firstly I think most of what you’re selling is junk. The shakes, the teas, the supplements, and yes, even the "green" beauty products. (I put tallow and full moon-infused essential oils on my face, guys. Been full hippie for a while now.) 

I also think it’s super condescending for you to be offering me a “great opportunity to help people” out of the blue. (I don’t remember filling out the job application?) I love what I do. I directly help people through real food, & real movement methods of getting healthier every single day. And yes, I sell my services. But I am not looking for another part time job shilling what I think is junk, in a money-making funnel. 

I am fully against the way the parent companies encourage you to call yourself “elite” coaches, trainers, fitness gurus, nutritionists… when most of you are not qualified as such. I am proud to be a part of an incredible coaching community of qualified, certified, have-earned-their-place fitness & nutrition professionals here in San Diego, and I think it’s ridiculous for someone selling protein powder to be calling themselves the same, with little to no experience. It’s completely inauthentic. 

I am also totally opposed to the whole before-and-after pics bullshit so prevalent in your marketing. We all know they are crafted with weird poses and lighting and spray tans, and they prey on people's vanity. They are sometimes repeated every few weeks by the same person, suggesting you can never be content with where you are. And they point to something even more dangerous...  which is the notion that BEFORE (buying this product, or looking a certain way) you are unhappy, but AFTER (you buy this product, and change yourself) you’ll be happy. Which is scary, and I could do another big post rant just based on that insanity...

Here’s a confession: I sold Advocare once. Probably 8 years ago. I was a broke yoga teacher and got sucked in by potentially helping people with nutrition, but more importantly making money. I think I sold 2 “cleanse” packs. And then I did the “cleanse” myself and realized how crazy it was to be taking all these pills, pre-workouts and powdered drinks and how shitty the ingredients must be in order to let everyone up the chain make money off the selling price. And so I dropped out. And I started studying real nutrition principles.

The flip side is that I totally get it that these “coaches” may still have a beneficial role to play. Sure, they can likely help some people out there to start their “fitness journey.” Even though you and I both know that it can be done with real food and exercise, and not the additional purchases… if you’re helping people, then fine.  

But PLEASE, for the LOVE of all that's holy, stop trying to get me in your downline.